i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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