I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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