I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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