she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
