5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
are you so shy because you have an std?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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