he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
