Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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