She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
