well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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