So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
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