It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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