hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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