Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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