i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
