Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
i've created a new STD.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
