Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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