i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
