There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
