its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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