i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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