Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
