I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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