Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
