I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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