Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize