He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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