i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
