Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
