I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
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