i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
