what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
