It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
