did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
