i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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