i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
