every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
