that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
