I looked at my own cervix.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
