There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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