My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize