reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
there is puke in my bra ... again
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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