I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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