Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
