1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
