No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It's like God shit irony all over that family
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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