I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
