VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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