we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize