We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
