So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
