don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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