We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
she told me i tasted like america
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
