ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
