i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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