I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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