everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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