Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
