Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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