i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
