You're so nebulous sometimes
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
