guys are not supposed to queef...right?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
