this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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