hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I think your dad took our porno
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
FUCK WHALES
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